YOLO

Hi Everyone,

I just wanted to let you know that: I have not jumped off of bridge, moved to an ashram, taken on a vow of silence, been given away in an arranged marriage and forced to live without the internet, nor lost me love for blogging,

I have however been mind blown by recent events, people, and my own tenacity and as a result am propelling forward into many of my 2012. One of those goals being to re-format my blog,  as such instead of spending my evenings putting together musings fortheloveofjo my nose is deep in…yes… “WordPress Web Design for Dummies”.. haha, I think I just lost a quotient of my awesomeness by admitting that! It is true I could pay someone fpr their talents but it is pretty fun to learn new things and get my mind ticking (also in light of recent events that is an expense I cannot afford anymore, beside who knows maybe I’ll pick up some mad skillz and as a result people with pay me to do do web design for them! You can be the judge soon enough!) . It can be frustrating as heck but there is also so much satisfaction in rocking out my own education.

I am by no means walking away from this blog, and who knows I may even post tomorrow, but if not please know that it is because I am reaching for the stars.

Thanks to so many for the push to shine brightly: Future african princess Lindz Bomb,  Goal Setting extaordinaire Jqcarr, olympic hopefull Molls, and as always the now SC.

In the words of my fellow Canadian and previous Degrassi Jr High star turned international Rap Phenomenon Drake:

You Only Live Once, thats the motto, YOLO.

I hope you all are spending your free time wisely too

xo

 

The power of Glee

I don’t have cable, so when I travel I must admit that if  on the rare occasion I actually make it to my hotel room before bedtime I adore nothing more than turning my mind off and tuning out real life in favor for ABC, CW or the WB.  Tonight was one of those rare occasions. At  first caught in a tug-of-war between Glee and Beverly Hills 90210 my thumb slowly disconnected from the “previous channel” button of the remote control and I got lost in the lives of Coach Sylvester, Rachel, Savannah, Puck and all their other classmates.  But instead of their musical montages of escapism I was instead hammered with the message to identify and pursue a dream.

I have heard before that if you’re looking for a message from the universe you will find it. The signs are always present, they aren’t there for you, they are there because your eyes are actually open to see them now.

In relation to just that I started writing another post last week after an amazing conversation with a relatively unknown friend and she reminded me that “the universe rewards action“, then another friend referenced it to me yesterday and tonight Mr. Schue uttered those same words to Finn. In hopes to give the credit to the originating author of the quote I came across the extended version “The universe rewards action. When you get to work, so does the universe.”

So universe in response I ask you this: Can I possibly work any harder? Am I doing the wrong work? Or am I doing the right work wrong?

I have been pretty confident for the last 2+ years that I am in fact living the dream, my passions havent needed to be specified because a the grab-bag of  health, endorphins, goals setting and elevating others was present in all I did and the relationships and praise that came from were my rewards.  So if the rewards and recognition have flat lined is the universe telling me that my actions aren’t enough or that my passions need life support and if that’s the case at which point do you pull the plug on a dream or declare a code blue in need for resuscitation stat?

If I was looking for a sign to answer above it would be worth noting that the definition of Glee is high-spirited. Glee a jovial characteristic that many would declare is a synonym for who I am.  Perhaps it is that very merriment that I have been known for that the universe is calling to action within me.

Window Seat Please

So I am going to let you briefly into my neurosis when it comes to booking flights and how I obsess over every time combination, dollar and airline.

I lose all concept of the time is money belief because I will repetitively search Expedia, united.com and kayak.com to ensure I get the lowest price and best time combo. I cross-reference departure times with class schedules to ensure I can get my sweat on in at least one city before or after take-off. I also hum and ha around transportation and eating, like I hate arriving somewhere past 9pm because I’m ravishing and in the dark.  Then pending on time I ensure I choose and airline that 1. I collect points on and 2. has a Starbucks in their LAX terminal, because if my flight is denoted with an “a.m.” departure time you better believe I will not compromise my Americano. Terminals exist without Starbucks you question? Well yes considering LAX is the dodgiest of airports they most certainly do. Trust me flying Delta bites for that very reason.

The absolute worst (and this happened to me a handful of times this weekend) is when I will finally take a deep breath and press purchase ticket, enter my credit card number and await my confirmation number what pops up instead but a notification for a price change in the flight! Sadly, it never goes down in price, so then the process happens all over again!  Seriously how is that even legal?! UGH.

Could these all be signs that I am non-committal, frugal to a fault and a little OCD with how I like my travel experience to be logged? Possibly. But don’t careful, responsible and experiential confidence just sound better!

In over my head

As a single adult, no kids, table for one chick there are minimal occasions that I find myself in over my head. I mean With no babies to feed or mortage to pay any situation I’m in is by choice and any burden that is brought on I brung it. I suppose the lekster can be tough to manage but that’s just cuz she’s a dog and lets keep it real in comparison to other 4 legged friends she pretty much dominates in her ability to adapt to any and all environments. Nor am i naive that life in general can get overwhelming but for the most part there are minimal scenarios that leave me feeling in the deep end without my waders on.

Or so I thought until Saturday when I found myself so in over my head that I almost drowned in a sea of my own raging emotion, ego, and that loving want I have spoken about that sometimes just hurts so bad.

You see I was asked by my gym to be the alternate on our team for regionals, which is like being given the role of an understudy in the ballet or theatre. Having only trained there since December i am obviously honored yet in my head and my body I have no place to be in such a scenario. I can run fast and that’s about all, which leaves me 6 weeks to reach optimal performance. To do so my only option was not to just jump into the deep end but to more so swan dive in with confidence and grace so that I at least looked like I fit in. Saturday it became evident that I may as well have cannon balled in because my lack of ability could not have gone unnoticed. You see we did a “for fun” relay workout against another gym and I fell apart, I totally buckled and even tho my team won I got in my car and drove away defeated, crushed and acutely aware that I am so far over my head.

My drive home was reminiscent of my soccer days, my team could have had a shut out but if I didn’t play my best game I would be so upset that I may as well have cleaned my car with my tears. Yet, as painful as beating myself up was there was also a perverted joy to love a sport and want so badly to be great. It is this adoration that makes being way over my head all worth it.
In my world that’s passion. Living, dreaming, and pushing yourself to be the best version of you in whatever that arena is. Add in a team, family, coach or any other cohort that believes in you and truly stands for you and that’s when you know your standing in the right space and surrounded by the right people doing in that moment exactly what be it your brain or body should be doing.

So does being in over my head suck- yes, but does knowing I have the capacity to grow and excel rock, ef yeah. I may be in the deep end but for now I can doggie paddle enough to breathe and a team that believes in me so much that they are going to teach me how to swim.

Love your biggest fan

In the last few weeks I have found myself being an all class cheerleader, quite literally, no joke.

I am all about constructive criticism, feedback for development, tough love and the whole gamut of terms to paraphrase “hey you’re doing a shitty job, let’s work on it” nor am I a fan of sugar-coating so I tend to appreciate people who tell it like it is. (On an aside, if you are person listening don’t, but it is not coaching if you’re not teaching someone how to do it better.) But where have all the high fives gone? Acknowledgement, encouragement or fanfare? I am not preaching serving up shit sandwiches, i.e. a negative critique in-between fluffy positive remarks, but I do think we often forget to toss out a life-preserver for good measure.

The Impact of positivity became rip-roaringly evident a couple of weeks ago on LA marathon weekend and then even more so just this last night while chatting with my bestie on her birthday.

The Saturday of the LA Marathon weekend  the sky was weeping perhaps even more so then the day of 26.2last year, but rain was not going to stand in the way of 5 friends running our gym-mate, Harry, across the finish line of his very first 5k. To make the story just that much more impactful it is probably important to share that our boy has lost 80+ lbs in a year and had never run as far as 5k in his life before that sopping Saturday. Throughout we paced him for his goal time, encouraged him up the hills, monitored his breathing and most importantly ensured that he never stopped running. It was game time, and come game time all that there is room for is to be a fan and believe. I think we can all agree that when things get tough we are often are own worst enemies and struggle to believe in ourselves, which is why it’s the responsibility of your friends, family and fans to create the space for motivation and believe in you. We did this for Harry and he crossed that finish line not only crushing his goal but also with a smile. Next up half marathon!

While Harry accomplished his goal, as a fan it’s important to know your part on both sides of the spectrum. It is not okay to join the band wagon, your needed even more so when shit gets real and times are tough. To pick up spirits when they’ve been crushed and to bring the sunshine when souls have gone dark.

The day after the 5k was the marathon itself, this year instead of taking on the “stadium to sky” race I was having a dance party with our lululemon community at our cheer station. Would it be wrong to say I think that cheering was harder than running? Probably, but truth is it was exhausting! Dancing, yelling, jumping and being the voice of positivity for 5+ hours, I mean when was the last time you were that person for even yourself for that long? Unfortunately probably safe to say never. But at mile 22 that enthusiasm is exactly what every runner needs. Countless smiles, nods, and thank you’s tallied, some runners even slowed down to dance with us! We witnessed every emotion from elation to tears of joy and no doubt some of pain, but never did we see anyone stop and give up. I am not implying that they would have had we not been there but I am confident at minimum we made it a little bit easier.

Which brings me to my most favorite people to cheer for, my friends. One of my best friends, Jonesy, and I committed to making 2012 our year and taing the stands as her fan makes my heart smile. Being an active participant and tossing your pom poms in the air for someone you adore is an inexplicable high. With extreme hesitation I am going to dare to go there and quote a Justin Beiber song “you smile, I smile” , when she makes magic happen I get to celebrate with her and when she de-rails it’s my role to help her get back on track. I listen, I call her out, I challenge her to consider all angles and most importantly I never ever doubt her.

As for all of you out there please know that I am a fan of yours too. There are enough people who will tell you that you can’t and I’m here ton tell you that you can.

Love your biggest fan.

Standing in judgement

Wow its been almost a month since my last post. Not cool considering one of my great past-time joys  is writing. Not to mention if I am in fact entranced with the idea of it not just being a post 5pm and weekend perk I really should pull up my socks and get with the program.

I’ve already distinguished with you that I think excuses are lame, but in retrospect my near 30 day hiatus is not something that begs forgiveness or fabricated explanations for my “BLOG sucky-ness” as the facts are:

One, I share with a broad internal smile that I have  been pursuing my passion and my writing goals! The UCLA writing course that I have been feigning for finally commenced last month, the course title: What’s your story? So as you can imagine  much of my creative memoir juices  have been flowing in that direction and it has been an incredibly humbling stream. I have come across embarrassment of not having stories to share (funny considering all my blog is, is antidotes of my own life lessons!), tackled writers block, gone to bed plotting out novel outlines, learned the difference between writing as if you are having a conversation vs writing to a appeal to a reader. TRUTH: I prefer writing as though I am in a conversation case in point I am now conversing with you,  but I appreciate that I would have difficulty extending this dialogue into a novel and it is unlikely that you would be captivated enough to stay with me.. I mean really I probably have lost a few of you already! But only 4 weeks deep I think I have what could be the starting of a fiction novel, and I additionally have a vision for my comedic dating series. Not gonna lie, pretty amped on the possibility of both! If you can stay with me I am sure I will share some teasers with you

And

Fact t wo, I have found myself in the predicament that is social media. The cautionary tale of sharing too much information with an unknown or for the most part in my case a known audience, as now I am in fear that some of my thoughts are being used  for evil instead of good. Though g-rated and very painless I hardly share my deepest and darkest secrets and the whole intent of my blog is to inspire you the reader to live a life you love while I live my journey of the life I love out load, I have recently been guided by an anonymous amber light to proceed with caution.  At first I kind of blew off the coaching, I mean if anyone was going to stand in judgement of my life choices and actions they would have formed their opinion 2 years ago when I certainly over shared in between boxes of tissues and tears. But now, for the most part, I am a strong woman with a voice that stands before you. I have not sat idly by in my life, instead I have discovered new passions, crushed goals, been vulnerable, made new friends and forgiven lost ones, so why now should I peel back exposure? Fear of judgement and misinterpretation leading to misrepresentation, to name a few reasons.

There are many famous quotes around judgement but the common thread woven between them all is that those that pass judgement do so without looking at themselves first, in other words who are they to judge without having lived a day in my shoes or more importantly without having even asked me what shoes I wear!  Then I read an adage that had me second guessing hushing up: We are so scared of being judged that we look for every excuse to procrastinate.

So in light of both perspectives I have decided to draw a blurry line down my keyboard and listen to my confidant for she I know only has my best interest in mind but to also trust in myself that my judgement is the only opinion that matters and success doesn’t bow to the hand of fear it crushes it and relishes in its remains and that is my intention.

A Wee Note of Thanks

Last week we learned of  the power behind random acts of kindness and appreciation. Both pertinent steps in gratitude and thus happiness.

So tonight I wanted to share a wee thank -note that I wrote. I chose this note to share because I have been feeling guilty and creating a story around how often, where and how I choose to sweat. But the truth is I sweat all the time everywhere, I love and do yoga for how it makes me feel far beyond just my body but my heart.  Admittedly running is driven a bit by ego in that its the best way to burn fat and I am good at it, and let’s keep it real humans gravitate towards things they are good at, which makes me equally love running. Then yes as you have learned I recently found crossfit so now instead of a perfect pair I have a trifecta for endorphins all equally attended and adored for extremely different reasons. I have shared with you fortheloveofyoga, and fortheloveof26.2 so tonight I share my gratitude for my gym and the owners.

 The reason I hesitated sharing and the ”story I created” was because I have a complex that all of a sudden people think I am all crossfit all the time which couldn’t be further from the truth and is exactly why sharing this note is pertinent to me escaping my self inflicted story, because as you will read and likely read-into I misplaced my identity somewhere and with it I left my laugh but now I am whole. I can’t let a story define me because only I know the truth and it is my responsibility to myself, and thus you, to stand powerfully and proud in that place of truth. For me, yoga and run make the most perfect line, but it’s just that a line- point to point, what I needed was something to connect the points at both ends hence my trifecta. An equilateral triangle  to close the lines and create an all-encompassing me.

Hi Team Dogtown,

 Tonight I got my first rip.. so I should be wanting to curse at you for my always manicured girly hands now being flawed but instead I am chilling on my couch with the lekster in my lap near tears with gratitude for you guys and what you have created at your gym.

 Despite my often ridiculous giggle and poker face, I like most have my down days (shocking I know!) recently so down in fact that Liz  busted me with near see-thru glossy eyes a couple weeks back when I walked in the gym. Why I share this is because instead of being a total chick and playing Adele on repeat  while gorging on chocolate I came to the Dogtown.  I came because  you guys have created something super special.

In 2011 I ran 4 marathons, some may think that’s stupid and there is probably some truth in that, but  I fell in love with 26.2 miles because a few hours later I knew I gave my all to something and at any given moment absolute strangers cheer you on and believe in you when every so often you don’t even believe in yourself. I find freedom in running. Then like you well know I love and appreciate yoga. I find peace on my mat.  But at your gym I found myself again. A place where I can bellow in laughter at my idiosyncrasies, get outwardly pissed at myself for not being able to do something, feel a spark of passion that’s been missing, and instead of strangers cheering I have new and amazing friends not just cheering but coaching and pushing me to be the best I can be.

 So I guess what I am trying to say is thank you. Thank you for welcoming me to your gym,  for putting up with me when I still can’t remember what weight I can lift, and most importantly accepting me for me and everyone else for them.

Jo 

p.s. it kind of sounds nerdy but the laughing piece is big for me, I have always been known for my giggle and no joke until I saw Scott’s video where Mike and I were rocking our dolphin burpees I had almost forgotten what my laugh sounded and felt like… so thank you for that reminder too.

 Note-to-self: Share dolphin Burpee video with you guys.